St. Augustine's life on earth his childhood

St. Augustine's life on earth

Childhood

Overall, in my childhood, I (St. Augustine) had no special characteristics by which to stand out. If I differed from ordinary children, however, it was in that I was strongly influenced by my mother, Monica, who lived in constant prayer and spiritual sacrifices for her child, and had the view that everything, from heaven to the smallest creatures, originates in God.

In my childhood days, my mother prayed very long prayers, and I had to wait long hours for her prayers to end, and frequently fell asleep by her side out of unendurable boredom. During her prayers, I often sneaked out and walked around town, looking for friends and amusing places, and she had to wander all over town searching for me.

After a while, she began to give me a strict education about God. She taught me that God is present even in small stones and grains of sand on the road. When I indulged myself excessively in comfortable thoughts or fun, she would admonish me in many different ways, for instance, saying that I had a great deal of things to do for God. She taught me a number of times that since we human beings are created by God, it would be a betrayal to forget about His grace. At meals, she consecrated each food on the table and gave thanks to God, saying to me, "Never forget gratitude to God, because all these foods are prepared by God." Also in many other ways, she instilled in me a faith in God. Her life was solely devoted to serving God, which she took as the entire meaning of her life. Her attitude of faith was wholly different from that of others. Since I grew up in such an atmosphere, my urge to run around freely with my friends was repressed by her faith. When this desire became irresistible, I would often run away. It was more fun and interesting to go out and play with friends because we did not have to talk about God. As time went by, I found myself enjoying a life opposite to the direction of my mother's teaching.

Meanwhile, the question of how to ascertain the existence of God, who is invisible, came to find a home in my mind. As my opinion began to tilt towards denying His existence, I had a strong desire to go the other way. I favored associating and having casual talks with my friends much more than thinking about my mother's admonishments. After this whole period, I frequently differed from my mother's view of God.

Nevertheless, my mother's devotion and zeal for me never changed or cooled down even a bit, though I continued to complain strongly against her education, more and more explicitly as days went by. Finally, I started on a path of indulgence and dissipation.

April 19, 2000